Just wanted to wish you a very happy holiday. Sorry for what we did to Jesus, but if you had ANY idea of how annoying he was being that day, you would totally understand. The drama, the whining, the constant claims to martyrdom…Christ. The nonsense about his mother being a virgin, the three stoners toking on whatever the hell they were smoking, thinking they were seeing brighter stars than anyone else, and that it was magic and they themselves Magi. Magi… I mean really! The pretentiousness! We all embellish our lives a little bit, but that bastard…never quite knowing when to stop…always pushing it one step too far. Always about HIM.
So yes, we shouldn’t have turned a blind eye to the Romans. OK, maybe we shouldn’t have screamed “turn the other cheek now, sweetie,” while he was being forced to schlep the cross up the hill. But everyone just wanted to get home, we’d ALL been working hard, we ALL cared about the poverty stricken, we ALL mixed with whores, I daresay, so we were like…"Jesus…for Christ’s sake, give IT A BREAK already." And then of course, the usual crucifixion crap…the bitchy queens whispering about the quality of the thorny crown, the common stone throwing sinners with their bad breath and worse outfits. Simply put, we were all in just a bit of a foul mood, and there he was, with the long hair and the beard and the clasped, pious hands…anyone would have done it. Seriously. But sorry, anyway.